I Love You
I was not raised in a huggy, "I love you" environment. I don't remember my father ever telling me that he loved me. I remember only rarely that my mother ever told me she loved me. I knew that they did, but I don't remember any verbal expressions of love by my parents. I don't ever recall my father ever telling my mother that he loved her. He may have in private, but I never heard it.
My father never gave me a "Father's Blessing" until I specifically asked for one when I was 40 years old. He was terrified! He didn't even know what a Father's Blessing was or how to do it. He went to his Stake President to learn about it. Then he fasted and prayed to be inspired as to what to say in that blessing. My father did confer the Aaronic Priesthood on me and ordained me to the three offices in the Aaronic Priesthood, but the blessing part of those ordinances was simple and not specific at all. He conferred the Melchizedek Priesthood on me and ordained me to the office of an Elder before I left to serve my mission at 19 years of age. All of these ordinances were done mechanically. I never knew they should be done otherwise until much later.
I don't recall ever seeing my father pray or lead our family in family prayer. I remember my mother trying to institute Family Home Evening in our family, but it fizzled. Perhaps because I was not interested and my siblings also were not.
As a result, I have not been much of a huggy, "I love you" father. I learned outward parental love from my wife's parents than I did from my own parents. In my old age I am trying to learn to express myself in that a little more in that regard. It has taken me more than 40 years to realize how much of a disadvantage I have given my children. They have wanted more of that throughout their lives, but I have resisted until lately. I hope that my children all know that I have always loved them and that I will always love them. I have learned much from my in-laws.
I have always given my children father's blessings at every opportunity. Each year before school started, each child was given a blessing. I tried to remember to do it whenever a new life event came along for each of them. Some of them resisted as they grew older. I worry that it was because I lacked enough expression of love for them.
On Saturday we attended a "Strengthening Families" seminar sponsored by the Summerwood Texsas Stake of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Among the things I learned was that I did not create an environment of self-confidence in my children. Each of them has mostly figured it out on their own, but would have benefited more if I had been more helpful.
This post is intended to express my sorrow and repentance of those things I have come to understand that I did not do correctly. I apologize to my children. I do not take lightly the words, "I love you". They come hard for me, but I will do better. And I will express these words with sincerity.
My father never gave me a "Father's Blessing" until I specifically asked for one when I was 40 years old. He was terrified! He didn't even know what a Father's Blessing was or how to do it. He went to his Stake President to learn about it. Then he fasted and prayed to be inspired as to what to say in that blessing. My father did confer the Aaronic Priesthood on me and ordained me to the three offices in the Aaronic Priesthood, but the blessing part of those ordinances was simple and not specific at all. He conferred the Melchizedek Priesthood on me and ordained me to the office of an Elder before I left to serve my mission at 19 years of age. All of these ordinances were done mechanically. I never knew they should be done otherwise until much later.
I don't recall ever seeing my father pray or lead our family in family prayer. I remember my mother trying to institute Family Home Evening in our family, but it fizzled. Perhaps because I was not interested and my siblings also were not.
As a result, I have not been much of a huggy, "I love you" father. I learned outward parental love from my wife's parents than I did from my own parents. In my old age I am trying to learn to express myself in that a little more in that regard. It has taken me more than 40 years to realize how much of a disadvantage I have given my children. They have wanted more of that throughout their lives, but I have resisted until lately. I hope that my children all know that I have always loved them and that I will always love them. I have learned much from my in-laws.
I have always given my children father's blessings at every opportunity. Each year before school started, each child was given a blessing. I tried to remember to do it whenever a new life event came along for each of them. Some of them resisted as they grew older. I worry that it was because I lacked enough expression of love for them.
On Saturday we attended a "Strengthening Families" seminar sponsored by the Summerwood Texsas Stake of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Among the things I learned was that I did not create an environment of self-confidence in my children. Each of them has mostly figured it out on their own, but would have benefited more if I had been more helpful.
This post is intended to express my sorrow and repentance of those things I have come to understand that I did not do correctly. I apologize to my children. I do not take lightly the words, "I love you". They come hard for me, but I will do better. And I will express these words with sincerity.
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